| Tense and Grammar Problems, a response to Scrivener comments |
[Dec. 23rd, 2005|12:26 am] |
Suppose you do have a problem with tenses. I know that I get caught in tense problems often. Sometimes I write the way I speak, which is with NY slang. That is not a good thing! Unfortunately, grammar and spelling confuse the heck out of me sometimes. It seems as if the stuff that was drilled into my head as a child in Catholic school, was somehow drilled out again. I was an A student until about 8th grade. I got a little side tracked by boys. But in later years, when I went to college, I got mostly A's in English class. I am creative with ideas, but the technical parts of writing are difficult for me. I always have people proof read my stuff twice.
The sad thing is that some of the proof readers may make things worse. How can I know if the proof reader is correct? Aren't there people out there that just edit for a living? It would help if I could remember where to place commas and how to spell certain words, but I seem to have a learning disability with certain things. I still get disoriented with the words their and piece. I have to visually look at them to see if they look right to me. Is it I before E accept after C or what?
I also have a problem with right and left. I know a few people who have the same problem. It seems so simple to some, but I struggle and really have to think before saying left or right. I tend to visually point. It makes me feel bad when I hear people knock those of us who don't have a great grasp on grammar. It isn't for lack of trying. I am not a stupid person. I am a Professor in the arts and that is where my strengths are. Sometimes I get the feeling that I am looked down at because of my struggle with writing. The only thing that helps make me a better writer is to write and try to learn. I do have many ideas that I want to express in the written word. Should I stop because I can’t figure out the correct usage of the comma?
But if I fall short of your expectations, it isn't because I am a stupid person who doesn't care how I come off. It is because I have a real problem in this area. The thing that bugs me the most is that when I was a child I did not have this problem. I was pretty good with spelling and ok with grammar. This may stem from a bad car accident I had many years ago or maybe old age is setting in. Whatever it is, it affects other areas of my life as well. I also struggle with simple math. I was always an A student in math but now I can not remember the times tables. I have to add in a round about way to figure out what 9x7 is. I don't know it automatically. Anyway, I am getting way off the point. The point is that I am one of those unfortunate people who need help with grammar. Please don't think it is for lack of intelligence or laziness.
So where do I find a good editor? I know we have some good beta readers in our fandom but many of them will not work with people who have a problem with grammar. I am sure it can be tedious to correct every sentence. However, I would be willing to pay someone for the service if they were willing.
Here is a little snippet of something I was writing, I would love to have help making it better:
****
At 9 Mary was already starting to develop. She looked at herself in the mirror in her room and decided that it was time to ask her Mother for a bra, but it was a little embarrassing to do. But one brave night she took her mother aside and asked her if she could wear a bra. As Mary suspected her mother didn't sound thrilled with the prospect.
Well, I don't know honey you're still a little young for one." Her Mom said.
"But Mom I feel like I'm hanging out all over the place, it's really embarrassing and I think I need it." Mary pleaded.
"OK, I'll see what I can do." Her Mom smiled at her.
‘Boy that went better than she expected.’
"Don't tell Dad, OK, Mom I'd be really embarrassed!"
It will be our secret." Her Mother said.
About a week later Irene came home with a package for Mary. It was a training bra. A size 28 AA and it was white with a little pink bow in the middle. Mary ran to her room to eagerly try it on but it didn't fit. It was too tight. She was disappointed that it didn't fit because it would mean that her Mom would have to go back to the store and return it. She'd have to remain in a T shirt until then. She remembered the discussion a few nights back with her friends. The bra T shirt debate went something like this;
"Man it is awkward with those boys elbowing me in the chest. It really hurts when they do that and it is so embarrassing! This thing is so uncomfortable, Rosie said.
Then Eli chimed in. My Mom got me a training bra, but my Dad keeps saying "what the heck is she planning on training!" She didn't have much yet to speak of. They all giggled at that comment.
Mary's Mom returned the bra with Mary for a bigger size and she felt vindicated for asking for one. Obviously she needed it. It turned out that she was already a 32B. Mary thought it was cool, until she started to get elbowed by the obnoxious school boys in her grade. She was however, the envy of the girls and didn't mind that one bit.
The day she got her new bra she couldn't wait to go to Rosie's to show off her new undergarment. Mary was going to be 10 in March. It was already February and it was cold out. She got on her boots and her jacket and ran out the door. Rosie lived about a mile down the road and Mary was used to walking the distance. The sun was shinning brightly off the crystallized snow. It almost hurt her eyes as she stepped out onto the porch. It made her eyes squint to prevent the jolt to her pupils. She could see her breath mist up as she breathed in the cold air.
James was sitting on the front steps with a friend Mary had never seen before.
"Hi Mary." James called to his sister to introduce him. Come meet my friend Dave.
"Hi Mary." Dave said. "It's nice to meet you," he put out his black gloved hand to shake hers.
He smiled up at her with the most incredible grin she had ever seen.
"Hi." She said dumbfounded. Her heart started to pound in her chest for some reason. She didn't even realize that she was shaking his hand. He let go of her hand but she didn't stop staring at him.
"Forget something?" James asked.
,
She hadn't moved a muscle in at least 30 seconds.
She had to snap herself out of it, but he was still smiling at her, and he was so cool looking! His skin was tan and smooth, unlike some of James' other pimply friends. His smile was-oh that smile was so big and white and he had the cutest dimples when he smiled. His lips were perfect, full and soft looking. She wondered just for a fleeting second what kissing them would feel like. And those eyes! Those chocolate eyes, with those long black lashes, they were so sparkly and warm and tipped up at the corners. She wanted to look at those eyes forever. She tore herself away and ran all the way to Rosie's house with the face of Dave imprinted on her brain. |
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| Norang |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|11:07 pm] |
Glittering Starlight
Spreads its wings,
Upon a misty November morn
Gently caressing
The moon soaked surface,
Cold and deep with life
The ocean in its glory,
Reflects gold and silver sparkles,
To dazzle the dawn in praise
Yellow orb rises,
To light the eastern sky,
Beams warmth upon a tumultuous landscape
All nature gazes upward,
With unseeing eyes
To dance another day in her arms
Rainbow colored flowers,
Turn their necks to and fro,
In step with her tune
Rain washed leaves,
Fragrant upon the wind, flutter brightly,
In all their painted hues, to honor her presence
As dusk approaches,
the western sky turns a fallow gold,
As if to embrace a lover one last time
Now sinking orange ball,
Large and low,
Hovers and fades, a deep and fiery red
And sighing,
Retreats into the mournful sea,
To end yet, another day |
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| Iron Guilt |
[Dec. 20th, 2005|10:40 pm] |
Iron Guilt
Strange, this life,
How silver turns,
As time goes on,
More power burns
A child wide eyed
With hopes and dreams
Dies cold and hungry
Despite his screams,
While politicians
Dripping honey,
Rob the mouths
Of those in need,
To fill the ears
Of those with money,
The rabble of
A bluer breed.
And charities
With all their efforts,
Corrupt the deeds
Of those who’d share...
A morsel for
The little moppets,
And prolong the pain
That they will bear.
We middle class
From upper nations,
We watch the pain
On different stations,
And so affected
To see them suffer,
We change the channel
And order Pizza |
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